If a loved one or member of your family has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or another form of Dementia, then you may be feeling a whole array of emotions on how to best support them. You might be overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation, afraid of what lies ahead, or concerned that your loved one will not be able to cope with their diagnosis. We get it -- when hit with such huge life-changing news, it can be hard to see the way ahead.
To help alleviate your concerns, we have created a list of ways that you can help support your loved one, including how you can help them practically and how you can process the emotions that you might be feeling yourself. If you are unsure of the signs and symptoms of Dementia or Alzheimer’s, then you can find out more information here.
How You Can Be Supportive
First and foremost, we need to consider the emotions of the patient who has just been diagnosed. They may be feeling fearful, afraid for the future, and generally confused by what is happening. Thankfully there are lots of ways in which you can support your loved one as they go through this processing period.
Treat them with respect and dignity
It can be easy to see the patient as just that, a patient. Someone who is ill and needs to get better. However, it’s vital that you continue to treat this person with the respect and dignity they deserve. Throughout the diagnosis process, your loved one might have started to become confused and forgetful, but this lack of mental capacity shouldn’t mean a lack of respect for them as a person. Make sure that everything is communicated to them, ask them how they are feeling, and show empathy for their situation by giving them all the dignity they deserve.
Listen and empathize with their emotions, whatever they may be
Listening can be the biggest and most important part of supporting someone as they try to process the diagnosis for themselves. Whether their thoughts are confused or disjointed, listening to what they are saying will help to reveal different wishes, new emotions, or simply help them to understand better what is happening to them.
Support in practical ways
When a loved one starts to lose their mental capacity and begin to find day-to-day activities difficult, you can help support them in practical ways such as batch cooking meals for them, organizing their wardrobe to make getting dressed easier, or moving furniture to make a space safer. Remember to communicate with your loved one and ask for their input to ensure that they feel valued and part of the process.
Consider the wider impact on the family
Focusing solely on the patient can alienate the rest of the family who, for good reason, may be feeling very upset or angry about this diagnosis. Where possible, try to consider the impact that this will have on the wider family. Some family members may step up and act as caregivers or provide other forms of assistance while others may be unable or unwilling to do so. Each member of the family will process the diagnosis differently, but it’s important that people have a space to discuss their feelings and that they feel validated.
Educate yourself on Alzheimer’s and Dementia
Supporting someone with dementia can become increasingly more difficult as the disease progresses, so you must be prepared for what lies ahead. Educating yourself and researching Alzheimer’s or dementia symptoms, how it affects the brain, and what your loved one's future could look like will not only help you to feel more informed but will also help you to take control of the situation. Knowledge is power and in times of uncertainty, it’s so important to be well-informed. The National Institute on Aging and the Alzheimer's Association are both great places to start for resources. Your loved one's doctor is also a good source of information and can help answer any questions you may have.
Communicating with a Dementia or Alzheimer’s Sufferer
As you support your loved one through this disease, there will be times when you need to communicate what is happening and assess their levels of understanding. Communicating with someone who is struggling with forgetfulness, confusion, or mood swings can be difficult, but we have a few methods that will help you communicate more effectively.
Create a positive environment
If you have to discuss a change or decision with your loved one, try to pick the right moment. For a individuals suffering from dementia, a positive, calm environment is the best place for them to be able to try and process what you are saying. Make sure the room is quiet, that they are comfortable, and that they are in a positive frame of mind before communicating important information.
Give them your entire attention
If you are the main caregiver for your loved one, it can be tempting to chat with them while you make dinner or clean the house. But for the patient to receive the information effectively, you should aim to give them your undivided attention. Sit down with them, maintain eye contact, and try to retain their concentration as you talk things through.
Be clear and concise when getting your point across
Where possible, try to be as concise as possible with the information you want to give the patient. Don’t elaborate or add detail to the conversation. Keep it simple, keep it clear, and keep it short.
More Ways to Support an Individual with Dementia or Alzheimer’s
There will be times when you may feel overwhelmed caring for your loved one. Thankfully, there are plenty of additional resources to help alleviate some of the strain. Support groups, both in-person and virtual, are a great resource to make friends and hear experiences from other people in the same situation as you. Memory cafes and Adult Day Care centers can be a real blessing when you need some respite or extra support. Lastly, many senior living communities offer safe, secure memory care neighborhoods that are designed specifically for older adults with dementia or Alzheimer's and may be a good option for you loved one.
As well as supporting your loved one emotionally and practically, it may also be wise to think about the future and, while they are still able, discuss future finances, health plans, and legal matters. Sorting these sooner rather than later will help enormously further down the line and will give you the space to concentrate on supporting someone your loved one to the best of your ability.
